


Of Cute Baristas, Suave Thieves and the Pros and Cons of Being Infatuated with Both of Them (Who Also Happen to Be One and the Same)

by Delphine_Le_Dauphin



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: (and carries around handcuffs), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And make bets on it XD, Crow is Confused, Joker is a Teaser Supreme, M/M, The Phantom Thieves are secretly AkeShu Shippers, Unorthodox Use of Safe Rooms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:30:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9693869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delphine_Le_Dauphin/pseuds/Delphine_Le_Dauphin
Summary: Goro muses about the pros and cons of liking a multi-faced individual a là ‘Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’, Akira is a Teaser Supreme and the Phantom Thieves are secretly AkeShu Shippers who make bets on it!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theholylight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theholylight/gifts).



> Declaimers: I don’t own the characters or the franchise this story is based on, nor the idea behind it. If I owned the game, things would have gone totally different. I don’t write for money, just for the pleasure of sharing my stories with you all.
> 
> Cross-posted with my main Tumblr account: delphine-le-dauphin.tumblr.com
> 
> This is for theholylight, who requested a fic in which Joker was being his usual flirty self mid-battle at Crow’s expense, with the two of them venting off the sexual tension in the Safe Room of the Casino Palace. 
> 
> Hope this fic is everything you asked for, Holy-chan ^^
> 
> If I didn’t get a place in pervert fangirl hell before, this one surely sealed the deal XD 
> 
> Totally worth it, though :)

How had things escalated like that? How did he find himself sitting astride Akira’s (no, Joker’s) lap on the couch in the safe room of Nijima Palace (in the middle of his first heist, at that, didn’t he have any shame?!), both of their masks pushed up and away from their faces as they were busy making out like their life depended on it?! How could he have let this happen?!

Oh, yeah… because while Akira’s public persona was meekness personified, the same could not be said for his thief persona, Joker. It was as if donning the Phantom’s domino mask, fancy black suit and leather coat (and discarding those glasses of his that, while making him look cute as hell, weren’t exactly the sexiest thing around) made his personality do a complete 180° flip, turning the usually quiet, gentle boy into a suave, confident sweet-talker.

Honestly, the thief was the epithome of flirtiness, a teaser supreme. Goro was used to deal with flirty admirers and wasn’t above being a tease himself, but the Phantom was shameless in both regards. Honestly, those levels of flirtiness should be declared illegal (and, as a matter of fact, he happened to carry around a pair of handcuffs, just in case, so maybe he could… no, bad Crow, no cake for you!).

It was exactly how Goro had always fantasized him to be and then more. Because, yeah, he had felt attracted to the Phantom ever since the media and public first started talking about him… which hadn’t exactly suited well with the fact he had recently met and befriended Akira Kurusu, probably the nicest, kindest person he ever met, and realized that what he came to feel for the cute, bespectacled boy was genuine affection.

Finding out that the Phantom (or Joker, the thief code name he went by), the person he lusted after, and Akira Kurusu, the person he had genuine feelings for, were one and the same had been a relief. It had also left him confused as hell. Did he love the Phantom as much as Akira? Did he feel attracted to Akira as much as he was to the Phantom? Did his love for Akira diminish now that he knew of his second life? Did his lust for the Phantom diminish now that he knew about his real identity?

The way Akira… Joker… the Phantom… whatever… acted towards him did nothing to help him with his inner dilemma. Seriously, it was like having to deal with the title character of “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”: a kind-hearted individual with a much darker persona which would be let out on occasion, but was part and parcel with the original one at the same time.

Out of Palaces and Mementos, Akira was nothing short of a gentleman. He always was, no matter the situation or whom he was dealing with, and his quite, gentle disposition had granted Cafe Leblanc a good number of new customers that came solely to interact with the ‘cute barista’ even before Goro himself had become a regular at the Cafe, thus bringing his own flock of fangirl with him. Goro himself had first started spending more time at Café Leblanc solely because pretending to meet him by chance in various parts of Shibuya was starting to get way too suspicious and last thing he needed was being accused of stalking (seriously, he wasn’t a stalker, just… very interested about a certain glasses-wearing underclassmate, that was all). The atmosphere was soothingly homely and the coffee was good too, which were some extra bonuses that Goro quietly appreciated. And he even more so appreciated how Akira would subtly over close by where he sat at the bar counter, a constant, secure presence the young detective found just as addictive and soothing as a good cup of coffee.

When he donned his thief mask to slay demons and Shadows alike, Joker didn’t lose any of his gentlemanly qualities (he was, after all, a gentleman thief… forgive the bad pun), but they were now complimented by a flirtatious attitude that would have made the likes of Don Juan and Casanova seethe with envy. Crow had found himself wondering whether this was Joker’s normal behavior, something he did everytime a new member joined their crew, or something he did only when he was around. Although, judging by the other Thieves’ exasperated huffs (not counting Futaba’s and Haru’s gigglings), it was probably one of the former two options.

(Oh, had he known it was because the others were all too aware of Akira’s crush on Goro and were annoyed at their leader’s way of dealing with his... unique way... of asking him out).

“Watch out Crow, wouldn’t wanna make your fangirls unhappy by getting that pretty face of your ruined.”

“Your butt is way too delectable to get roasted.”

“Careful not to get your outfit dirty, pretty prince.”

…

… …

… … …

Oh, yeah, now he remembered exactly how he had found himself in his current position. He had grown so exasperated with Joker’s flirting that the moment he had caught glimpse of the door leading to the Safe Room he had grabbed Joker by his coat, all but dragged him inside, locked the door behind them (he’d have to apologize to the others for that, by the way… eventually…) and pounced on him with so much momentum they had both tumbled on a nearby couch, Joker half-sprawled on it with Crow sitting in his lap, gloved hands latched onto the lapels of his coat.

After all, a kiss charged with weeks of sexual frustration was just as good a way to shut someone’s mouth as a gag was.

Instead of breaking the kiss and pushing his assaulter off of his lap, Joker’s response had been to kiss Crow back just as fiercely, his own gloved hands roaming over his fellow thief’s back for a long moment before settling on his lower back and the nape of his neck, and Crow had positively purred at that.

Finally.

Final- _fucking_ -ly.

* * *

A sharp nip at his lower lip elicited a soft moan from the detective-turned-thief, before a sharp pinch at his backside caused him to broke the kiss with a yelp. He glared at his partner with eyes half-lidded with lust, and the leather-clad teen’s lips, red and swollen with the force of their kiss, twisted in a smirk, pearly white teeth flashing in the barely-lit room as his gloved hand settled firmly onto Goro’s behind.

“I wasn’t lying when I said you have one very delectable butt.”

Growling, Goro dove right back down to kiss him shut up again, hands travelling from Joker’s coat to his wild mass of black curls, the thief leader moaning his approval into his mouth as his other hand travelled down his assaulter’s back to join the other on the ‘very delectable butt’ that had been haunting his wet dreams ever since he had caught a glimpse of it clad in white tailored pants.

“You… are… a pervert…” Goro mumbled in-between kisses.

“Takes one to recognize one” Akira chuckled darkly, dangling something shiny and metallic in front of Crow’s face, and the princely-clad thief jerked back in surprise as he recognized his own handcuffs, the only thing preventing him from falling from Joker’s lap being the gloved hand still holding onto his behind.

“Didn’t know you had such fantasies, detective. Then again, you’re a cop, so I’m not suprised either.”

Goro was sure the blush coloring his cheeks was just as red as his mask “You better watch your mouth before I decide those handcuffs are better off decorating your wrists.”

“There’s no helping it unless you have a gag hidden somewhere.”

The smirk that twisted Goro’s lips was just as devious as Joker’s “Oh, I can think of a much better way to keep that teasing mouth of yours occupied.”

For the first time since long, Akira smiled genuinely “Can’t wait.”

**Meanwhile, outside the Safe Room…**

_“So are they fucking in there or not?”_

_“I hope so. The sexual tension between them was starting to get a bit too much intense for my tastes.”_

_“Seriously, Joker has had his eyes on Crow since before he joined us, couldn’t he have just asked him out or something?”_

_“You know how Leader’s done, he likes to provoke his prey into pouncing him before delivering the final blow.”_

_“No kidding. By the way, who won the bet in the end?”_

_“I’ll have to check the books once we get back, but I’d say Noir and Oracle.”_

_“Hell yeah!”_

_“Aww, shit. Not cool, man.”_


End file.
